San Francisco: Part 5 – The End of Semester 1, 2015, & Overusing the Word ‘Love’.

I’m sitting in the Castro in the same coffee shop I came to months ago when I was in the midst of my classes, drowning in assignments and trying to find the balance between work and play. I’m in the same seat just on the other side of the shop, looking out the window at decorated tree trunks, entryways and people. I’m taking this moment to really reflect on the time I’ve had here, so much seems to have happened in such little time. I feel like for the first time in my life that I am actually really living it and not just coasting by.

I’ve changed a hell of a lot, I know that. My confidence has grown in leaps and bounds, in myself, with new people, new places and experiences. I’ve put myself out there and reaped the rewards in friendship and kindness and opportunity. I do still get nervous though, still find anxiety creeping in, I panic and I’m a perfectionist which puts a whole lot more pressure on myself that I really don’t need. But all in all, I’ve mastered the pleasantries with people, the kisses on the cheeks and the casual hugs. I get excited to go out, see people I love and support them. I especially love feeling like my support in particular matters and those that make me feel that way.

Yesterday I did my second photo shoot since being here, it took me a while to organise them and actually save a little money to get the equipment I needed, but I am the happiest for having done them. Yesterday we were all nervous, I was more so than the first one, that time I had people to support me and make casual conversation in the background whilst I worked. But yesterday I was mostly alone, it was a big deal to me, and although it could have gone better, with less of an awkward air, but maybe I was just projecting that myself, we made great things together and I got to finally meet someone whose art I’d admired from the first few weeks I’d arrived in the city. Thank you. This has opened up a whole part of my life again that I used to think I’d do for the rest of my life, and maybe I still will, but taking these chances, has made me brave enough to study Photojournalism next semester and keep pushing myself forward in art. Taking photography any further than A-Level and as a hobby was something I had kind of talked myself out of, made myself too nervous about, but now I’m taking that chance and facing my fears and I’m so excited about it.

I’m packing as much into my last few days here as possible. I am sad about all the things I’ll be missing, but oh so happy to both see my family and that at this point in my life, in this city, I have things I’m missing and people that are missing me at all.

I’ve learnt a lot about myself as a person and been inspired in so many ways while being here. I actually like being busy. My introverted self from England has kind of gotten a bit lost in the opportunities and lifestyle I seem to have adopted here. I still need my space and I still need my days when I just lie in bed and don’t speak to anyone, but most of the time, I find that that just doesn’t happen, and I don’t miss it too much. I’m much happier and healthier for the lack of that in my life.

Here are some things I love about my time here just because I feel really happy and sentimental right now:

I love that I met one of my now best friends for life completely accidentally at a drag show within the first month of being here just because I didn’t know how to tip bartenders. Flash-forward 3 months and now we live together and he humours my want to go to every show, wait to talk to every performer afterward and tip as much as possible while passive aggressively glaring at those who talk or edit photos for Instagram throughout performances and don’t give up a single dollar. (Also he lets me deconstruct his bedroom every time I want to do a photo shoot, thanks Taylor).

I love that someone I watched on TV over a year ago in my Drag Race binge watching times, forgot was in the city, promptly saw perform, spoke to and fell in love with, has become one of the most inspirational and important people in my life, and I hope she knows it. Her kindness, encouragement and intelligence has inspired me no end. I love that Hometown Glory is solely your song now and is the soundtrack to my life in San Francisco. Thank you for always taking time out of your night for us, for being the beautiful, open minded and hardworking individual that you are. The way that you just be yourself and accept others with open arms is something I strive for. And thank you for that cocktail last week, my love for maraschino cherries continues to grow. It’s true you have the kindest heart, Honey. I can’t wait to see you in the new year.

I love that I’ve really learnt to be myself here and care less about what people think and more about my own happiness. I love that the people I kind of knew from Norwich have become a source of comfort, love, inspiration, home, happiness and laughter after being unceremoniously thrust together this far from home. I love that I feel alive here. I love the weather, I love places like Balencoire, Midnight Sun, the people that inhabit them, the cafes on Ocean near my house, the beach, that Sushi place we went to one time and the Goodwill right by it that had the best selection ever. I loved being here for Folsom and Castro Street Fair. I loved that time we got the train to Berkeley on the hottest day ever, climbed up into the hills and heard the sounds of the practicing marching band echo throughout it all. I love that right now I can sit in the middle of Castro drinking in a coffee shop specific to San Francisco while watching a man make someone over through the bay windows across the street that are one of my favourite things about the city.

I love that after the shoot yesterday she left my house in full beautiful drag make-up and pads at 3pm, shrugged and said “It’s San Francisco”.

Georgia Tomlinson-Spence
georgiarts@live.com
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