Summer Muffin


I think I have an addiction to the Banana Nut Muffins of America.

Here are all the reasons why I’ve decided it’s a healthy relationship:

muffin

1. When I think about the Banana Nut Muffin it makes me smile on the outside, and on the inside too.

2. The Banana Nut Muffin makes me less grumpy when it’s around.

3. The Banana Nut Muffin is always there when I am sad.

4. For something so small, it has a whole lot of love inside it.

5. The Banana Nut Muffin is yet to call me at 4am, drunk and shamelessly asking me to have sex with it.

6. The Banana Nut Muffin hasn’t noticed that sometimes I smell like a bag of horseshit.

7. I can’t recall a time when a Banana Nut Muffin looked at me weirdly for loving unicorns, or for having a strangely shaped forehead and a long nose.

8. The Banana Nut Muffin, I’m pretty sure, actually thinks I’m sexier when my mouth is full of food.

9. The Banana Nut Muffin doesn’t chat about sports, and doesn’t ask me to rub its feet.

10. Now that I think about it, a Banana Nut Muffin doesn’t have any feet, which is great too, because I don’t like them very much.

11. The Banana Nut Muffin can’t hear me when I sing in the shower.

12. The Banana Nut Muffin doesn’t sing in the shower.

13. Sometimes I see the Banana Nut Muffin looking at me like I’m the only person in the room.

14. The Banana Nut Muffin is a one-woman muffin.

15. The Banana Nut Muffin looks really, really good naked. So good.

mufffinnn

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I am also fond of the Banana Nut Loaf, but a muffin just feels more intimate to me.

———

P.s. My phone is a bit lost, so I had to kindly borrow these Banana Nut Muffin porn shots from Google, but please remember that every muffin is different.


Hannah Sprange
hannahsprange@live.co.uk
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