09 Sep Strange Town

Strange Town
The Jam
(1979)

Ostensibly, this seems a little mean. San Franciscans, Californians, just Americans in general, are kinder, nicer and more polite to strangers than your typical Londoner. But that doesn’t stop the fact that moving halfway across the world is a bizarre experience. Moving to anywhere new takes time to adjust and find your feet. Where to get groceries, where to catch the bus, where not to go when the sun goes down. These are things any college kid has probably gone through. Moving to a completely different country (as well as a different continent) can make you feel like a complete alien though, even without a language barrier.

That isn’t to say that San Francisco is anything but accepting. I would be hard pressed to find another city where you could get away with wearing just about anything, hold hands with whoever you wanted without fear of confrontation and just generally be free to be who you are. All of this is lovely, but fitting in and finding your group of people are two different things.

I envy my 6-year-old self sometimes. When you’re a kid, making friends is easy. You just start talking to someone and if you like them they usually end up becoming friends. That’s it. Little social etiquette, and the absence of complex social cues and layered meanings in conversation that adults have to navigate when socialising. It’s probably of little surprise at this point to say that I’m an introvert. In fact, I’m a shy, introverted nerd, who doesn’t always follow social cues that well. So making friends in a brand new city is a bit daunting. People in class are lovely for the most part, but class usually isn’t the best place to strike up a conversation with someone. Campus Rec activities are nice but are often filled with groups of people who’ve known each other for a year or more. IEEC is probably the best place to find people in a similar position, but with only being 20 and not yet able to drink, some of the more ‘sociable’ events are restricted. Added to the fact I’m not in typical student housing and the whole idea of ‘making friendships that will last a lifetime’ as we were told would happen starts to become an uphill battle.

I know I’m probably not alone in feeling this. Exchange students, transfer students, even freshmen students are going through similar things and share my worries. Perhaps my worries are down to me though. Maybe I’m not getting involved enough, or not going out of my way enough to find the right events for me. Maybe I’ll just stumble upon the right event or group of people and all this worry will have been for nothing. Right now, I’m really not that sure.

One thing I do know though is that my feet hurt. And that really is my fault and my fault alone. Exploring San Francisco in 1-year-old Converse is not a wise decision. So there’s some advice at least.

EMP

Found myself in a strange town
Though I’ve only been here for three weeks now
I’ve got blisters on my feet
Trying find a friend in Oxford Street